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Bedroom songs: Death wish

by Zi

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1.
Alone 02:43
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[Verse] Time stands still What an I still doing here? Doing the same things over again Hoping that something has changed Too afraid to do something too strange I just wanna go back home Back to where I belong Back to my comfort zone [Chorus] And the lights are turned off again But I'm still alive in my bed And sometimes I think I'd rather be dead But then I take my words back But it's only a matter of time So why won't it pass me by? Guess everything seems to be slower than what is When you're not enjoying your life [Outro] It's only a matter of time So why won't it pass me by? Guеss I'll be alone for the rеst of my life Yeah I'll be alone for the rest of my life
2.
at midnight 03:11
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[Verse 1] At midnight When I'm half-asleep I'll turn the lights off and on again 'Till I'm finally fully alive Until I dread the feeling of myself [Verse 2] At midnight The smallest thoughts Can burn a fire that keeps me awake And letting go becomes like a stranger Obsessions become like a moth to a flame [Chorus] And the bed doesn't feel like a bed anymore I guess the comfort was lost long ago Since when did my thoughts become my only lover? I guess it wasn't even fair at all [Verse 3] Sometime past midnight When I'm still alive I'll hate thе feeling of feeling myself But I'll come back clearеr than ever before Just to think about the unthinkable [Chorus] And the bed still doesn't feel like a bed And it feels like the room is caving in But at this point I'd rather be homeless or dead So tell me, where's that zone the you promised? And closing my eyes just doesn't feel right And waking up seems like the better option But at this point I'd rather be homeless or dead So, where's that zone that you promised?
3.
Lover 01:49
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[Verse] Even after all these years You're still the same I think the color of the leaves haven't changed Did you turn them over Like you said you would? But those leaves aren't new, aren't they? [Chorus] The wind blows the same And you're still deranged So did you leave your promise behind? [Bridge] And I died more than twice for you Did you even care more more than oncе for me? Just to be your lover And to keep my obsеssions Hidden deep beneath these barks [Chorus] But you're still the same And you still haven't changed So why'd you leave your promise behind?
4.
Closet door 02:23
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[Verse 1] Caring too much if the grass is greener Is it really better on the other side? A green-eyed monster, hoping it's my lover Can’t even die without dying twice [Verse 2] And I hate that I'm too preoccupied And I can't even lie without being honest And who’s gonna forgive and who's gonna forget? 'Cause I'm sure as hell that I'm doing neither [Chorus] Closing the door that I left open Was it too bad that I couldn't think straight? Keep 'em suppressed, and try to leave it behind But when it comes back You're still depressed [Verse 3] Giving up was always the option Stabbed in the back for just being honest And who’s gonna forgive and who’s gonna forget? 'Cause I’m sure as hell that I'm doing neither [Chorus] Closing the door that I left open Was it too bad that I couldn't think straight? Keep 'em suppressed, and try to leave it behind But when it comes back You’re still depressed
5.
Immature thoughts 02:32
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[Verse] So fucking jealous of him 'Cause he has more friends than me Probably gets more love than me On average while I'm crying in my bed [Chorus] Kind of hope that he dies But he doesn't deserve it Maybe in time I'll be just like him Hate how I see him everyday Breaking my ego and my heart And I hate that he's nice And I hope it's for show But maybe he's nice Then I'll hate myself morе Just so fucking obsessed Should probably get a thеrapist instead [Post-Chorus] Can't even lie without being honest Can't even die without dying twice And who's gonna forgive and who's gonna forget? 'Cause I'm sure as hell that I'm doing neither [Outro] It's all your fault It's all your fault It's all your fault It's all your fault Yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah yeah It's all your fault It's all your fault
6.
Lost at sea 02:44
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[Verse] I've been living in the ocean my entire life And even after all these years I still can't let myself drown 'Cause my body won't give out [Pre-Chorus] And I've been longing To reach ship or land Waiting for someone to come But no one truly comes And I'll always see A shadow of company in the mist But never the real thing [Chorus] So I hope that I starve to death first Or die of thirst Or freeze inside Until my organs give out Until I die, until I die Secretly hoping for something else But I bet nothing really happens And now I'm still alone with my death wish With a feeling worse than dying and hell [Bridge] Do you think that you can still make it? Oh, I was still talking to myself Even the animals here are dead And the world's just an empty, barren ocean [Chorus] So I hope that I starve to death first Or die of thirst Or freeze inside Until my organs give out Until I die, until I die Secretly hoping for another solution Since no one's coming to save me So I'll whisper to my death wish To make haste and come naturally
7.
at 17, still hoping 02:45
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[Verse 1] Waiting for death Just to be with the stars Seems too selfish after all When you've truly noticed That maybe life's a gift worth living for [Verse 2] And 17 years Passed by so fast And I barely remember all the things in the past Except for the bad ones They still come creeping behind these doors [Chorus] But I'm still hoping Even after all the bad things that happened That I'll be alive hell after hell I think I deserve it To walk on air Instead of barely breathing In these waters In these waters [Outro] Don't wanna be lost at sea anymore No I don't wanna die anymore Don't wanna be lost at sea anymore No I don't wanna die anymore No I don't wanna die anymore No I don't wanna die anymore No I don't wanna lie anymore No I don't wanna lie anymore No I don't wanna die anymore No I don't wanna lie anymore
8.
Hope you'll be alright, pt 1 03:25
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[Verse 1] So I heard That you're going through Some hard stuff right now And I want to wish you all the best But I want to wish you more than that So I hope that you get through And I hope that you're alright And I hope the pain that you've fought starts to die [Pre-Chorus] And I know that it's hard To be happy all the time And I know that it's not easy To pretend that you're just fine But I hope that you know That it's not your fault at all So don't blame yourself for that [Chorus] And when life starts to grey I hope that it's gonna be okay And those bad feelings Will start to fade And as time passes by And the tears start to dry I just hope that you'll be alright [Verse 2] And I know That you've been struggling With your mental health So I hope that you rеmember To take carе of yourself And be kind to other people And be thankful for what you have 'Cause you never know how long it's gonna last [Pre-Chorus] And I know that it's hard To be happy all the time And I know that it's not easy To pretend that you're just fine But I hope that you know That it's not your fault at all So please, don't blame yourself for that [Chorus] And when life starts to grey I hope that it's gonna be okay And those bad feelings Will start to fade And as time passes by And the tears start to dry I just hope that you'll be alright I just hope that you'll be alright [Outro] I just hope that you'll be alright But I know that you'll be alright
9.
Hope you'll be alright, pt 2 04:00
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[Verse 1] When it all seems the same Take the time to find your way And when it all comes down To the road that you take Take whatever road you make [Verse 2] When it all seems to ache Take the time to catch a break And when you can't sleep at night And if you start to cry I’ll be there crying by your side [Chorus] When the lights burn out And the sounds of the streets peter out I just hope you'll be alive And I'll hope that you’re alright And I know I'll be there Crying by your side [Chorus] When the lights burn out And thе sounds of the streets peter out I just hopе you'll be alright Even if you're in the afterlife And I'll be there Crying by your side And I'll be there Crying by your side
10.
Honest lie (extra stuff) 01:47
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[Verse 1] "As straight as a line", he said Then met a guy Who bent his line But nobody knew 'Cause they all thought the same But had his truth become a lie? [Verse 2] He closed the door That he had left open Was it too bad That he couldn't think straight? Thought he was being overly sincere Didn't know that time would leave a mark in his back [Chorus] Punished for being himself too early Punished for being himself too late A sacrifice but he's the only loser Can't evеn die without dying twice Punished for bеing himself too early Was it too bad that he couldn't think straight? Punished for being himself too late And so his truth became a lie
11.
Blame (extra stuff) 02:31
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[Chorus] And I never liked the way it was If you never cried would it still be the same? Manipulating through your tears Now both of us are left deranged [Verse] Did you ever wear your heart on your sleeve? Or maybe your sleeve was on someone else? And I don't believe in myself anymore And I still don't know if it's my fault or yours [Chorus] I don't think you liked the way it was But if I ever cried would it still be the same? Can't tell you if it's real or fake But who's gonna be the one who's taking the blame? [Verse] Did you ever wear your heart on your sleeve? Or maybe your sleeve was on someone else? And I don't believe in myself anymore And I still don't know if it's my fault or yours [Chorus] I don't think you liked the way it was But if I ever cried would it still be the same? Can't tell you if it's real or fake But who's gonna be the one who's taking the blame?

about

Hey, it’s Zi here!

I just wanted to talk a bit about ‘death wish’. It’s a big project that I’ve been working on and I’m finally able to release it.

Throughout the past few years, I’ve been struggling a lot with life and my mental health. A lot of times, I bring a lot of stress to myself (whether it’s with or without reasoning), and then, it’s like all these combinations of things, my problems, that drive me into having a death wish.

So the album is about that. It’s about all my problems and my weird thoughts, rational or delusional, that I’ve channeled into songs. Some of them sound similar to each other, and a lot of them do use similar chord progressions. A lot of the songs are also connected to each other.

However, just like a heads up, it’s not professionally recorded or anything but, I hope you guys will still like it anyway. But yeah, if you have the time, take a listen. Thanks!

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released December 7, 2022

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Zi image

Zi

Hey it's Zi! I'm currently 19.

So far, I've been writing songs about things I have experienced in life. Writing about my problems, and stuff that I've struggled with. It's been a great journey, and I've always wanted to tell my story through songs, so I hope you guys enjoy it, even though it may not be of the best quality. If you have the time, take a listen. Thanks! ... more

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